For Kwasi

I wrote this for my dear friend Kwasi, who in 2021, the midst of my madness, mailed me a weighted blanket. He sent me a book about belonging before I ever recognized it was a wound I carried. He called multiple times just to check in and helped me remember to feel.

You asked if I’ve been writing

For a moment I was confused 

It had completely escaped my conscious mind 

That I ever held words to transmute emotion into meaning 

At first I thought 

Maybe I’m better 

At letting go 

I don’t need that craft 

Maybe these days 

Life is just washing over and through me

The truth is I’ve been numb 

Paying little regard to the rich hues that paint my days 

Casting their strokes across quiet moments 

Because I’ve been laboring

Surrounded by pragmatic colleagues 

And cerebral lovers 

And efficient self talk 

Much to do

Time is of the essence 

The world is here for the healing 

But 

What well will I draw from 

When service has run my river dry 

Whose eyes will stare back

From the looking glass 

When we finally get to

Wherever we’re all going 

I want her to be 

Nourished too 

Thank you for 

Reminding me 

It is good to feel 

To expand the space 

To let love and beauty multiply 

As it always does when we water it 

And even when all that love 

Has nowhere to go 

I can bathe in it

Splash in it 

Drink it in

And rest 

And play

And

Pouring it slowly over the contours of my heart 

Offer a belly laugh at the wild abundance of it all

Enough for everyone

And then some.